Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize