grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
