That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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