Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
