I could have mohawked her pubes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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