the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The ass gains better be worth it
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