oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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