Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
