Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
