You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is Oprah even human
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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