I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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