Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize
