Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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