New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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