Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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