Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize