Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
