I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
