so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sext me about skeletons
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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