The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
