u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
