I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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