If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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