I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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