Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
