dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize