he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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