I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
