I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
