so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
