her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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