tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
