margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
