I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
