Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
