I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize