I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
