Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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