my room smells like sperm. sweet.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
