Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
