Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't make out with my wife yet
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
