sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize