I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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