Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
