I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
