Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
