Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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