That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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