...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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