I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
