WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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