Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
