I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize