just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
