There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
