We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
