Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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