In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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