I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
