Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
