I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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