K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
