never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize