i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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