Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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