I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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