i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
