I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
