id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
