One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
