you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
home. puking in laundry basket.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
