dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
